Chocolate
by Phoenix Fanatic
Summary: Fang discovers what he can do when he takes Max's chocolate hostage. Oneshot, Fax, and a bonus for anyone who can figure out how to get the chocolate back.


A/N- This was an amazingly fun story to write due to the restrictions- read the story first, then read the last author's note, and then grab the letters you need to fully understand the story. Once you put it all together, the story makes more sense.

Disclaimer- Characters aren't mine. I wish I had Toblerone, because that would just be sick, but it just wasn't meant to be…

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"Give me the chocolate back, or you're about to die a long and extremely painful death."

I grinned. Messing with Max was my favorite pastime! She had been sitting oh-so-innocently at the table eating one of those delicious Toblerone bars- how could I let the opportunity pass? I had reached over and snatched it from right under her nose. Naturally, she was pissed.

"Vying for your attention is easy when I have chocolate," I frowned. "Without it, you don't really care what I do. Why am I important now?"

"Excellent observation," she said. "But Fang, you're always important to me…just give me the chocolate back, and no bones will be broken."

"Maybe," I mused, "I won't give it back. Maybe I'll eat it _all by myself._" Her eyes widened in horror as I leaned against the counter and snapped off a piece of the Toblerone. In slow motion I put it near my tongue, and then licked it slowly before plopping it in my mouth. I smiled sweetly at her.

"Evil," she hissed. She stood up.

Actually, she looked ready to kill me. And that's being one hundred percent honest. But I couldn't help but notice the afternoon light casting wonderful shadows all over her body…it was quite _nice_. I mentally slapped myself. _Keep it in your pants, man._

"Kindly give it back, or in a few seconds you'll be on your back crying in pain." Her eyes were on fire. Honestly, I was starting to get creeped out.

Instantly, I took a step forward. This could be fun. Maybe I'd "accidentally" rip off her shirt or something.

She made a grab for the arm holding the Toblerone, which was stupid, because I grabbed her arm with my opposite hand and twisted it, putting her in an arm lock. I could've broken her elbow if I wanted to, but before I could react, she kicked her foot into my leg.

"Sooner or later you'll discover that women will stop at nothing to get their chocolate," she said, holding the arm I had grabbed. Was she PMSing or something? Finally, after a moment of silence, she sighed. "Fine. What do you want me to do to get it back?"

"Are you kidding?" Max, giving up so easily? She was desperate. For a moment I had a pang of guilt, but it quickly went away.

"No," she said. "Just give it to me! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Don't worry about it," I said, deciding to play with the moment. "You'll get it back…tomorrow. But if I eat it by then, well, you can always go to the store and get another."

"You're a horrible, horrible person. Fang, I'll give you five bucks, and I get it back. Deal, or no deal?" Now she was getting all reality show host on me.

Oh, damn, I was weakening inside. What should I do?

"Uhhh…" Max. couldn't find any words to get out. "Please? And when I say anything, I mean _anything_."

Look, I'm a fourteen-year-old guy. This was an amazing chance. That weakening part of me was vanquished in seconds. "How about this, Max. I give it back if you promise to do all of my chores for the next week, and no complaining."

"Loser," she said under her breath. But then she looked up with hope-filled eyes. They were so cute I was pretty sure my heart exploded into cute puppies. "I'll do it."

Grinning, I snapped off another piece of the Toblerone. I took a deep breath. How badly did she want it? "I still get the five bucks. And…you have to go to the movies with me on Saturday night. In your own words, deal or no deal?"

"Easily a deal." She went quiet and frowned. My heart quickened as she sat on the kitchen table. "Wait. Did you just ask me out on a date?"

_Time to get out of here, _my Inner-Fang said. Inner-Fang was that rarely-seen version of me that liked watching Titanic and really loved chocolate. Technically, it was the feminine version of me.

"You know, I should get back to Iggy and Gazzy," I said, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. "I've left them alone for awhile. They've probably blown up something or someone by now."

"Oh, no, you can't do that," Max said. She stood up and walked over to me, with a weird expression on her face. "Things just got interesting."

Understandably, I backed away. She was getting too close! The way her hair framed her face…and her shirt was way, wayyyyy too tight for my well-being.

"Right…" I muttered. I didn't think I'd actually ask her out! It was one of those things that just sort of…happened. "Now this is awkward."

"Come on!" she yelled. "If you're going to ask a girl out, don't just back out at the last minute! You've got to follow through with it. Otherwise you'll just get her hopes up."

"Hmm?" The English language was once again failing me. 'Hopes up'? Did that imply…

"Oh, Fang…" she reached up and put her hand on my hair. Damn! That felt way too good.

Crap, I had to respond. "Max, you can do whatever you want on Saturday night. It's just an option."

Ordinarily I would have cringed at something like that, but she smiled. "I'd love to come."

"Love…to?" Woah. Max just agreed to go out with ME. Hell just froze over.

"And I want my chocolate back." Lovable-Max was replaced by Give-Me-Chocolate Max.

"Twenty minutes," I shouted over my shoulder, an idea popping into my head. I might as well get creative...I grabbed my laptop, opened up Word, and starting typing. My first sentence was: _"Give me the chocolate back, or you're about to die a long and extremely painful death."_

Eventually, once I finished, I printed it and shoved the three-paged document into her hands. "Figure out the code, and you'll get your Toblerone back." The object in question was still in my hand- I had forgotten all about it.

"Bah," she said. But then, looking down at it, she grinned like a Cheshire cat. "I've got it. That was way too easy."

Actually, I'd purposely made it dirt simple. But hey, it's all cool.

"Come on," I said. "You can't blame a guy for trying."

"Keep going," she said, her smile growing. All I can say after that is that she most definitely got her chocolate back…but I still won. Afterwards, I went and added the last four paragraphs into the document, with Max laughing over my shoulder as I did so. She found out how to get the chocolate…can you?

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A/N- First time I've ever broken the fourth wall, but maybe, if you're creative enough, Fang and I didn't.

Can you get the chocolate? I'll put a few spaces so that anyone who wants to try won't have it spoiled if they have the page scrolled down.

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To get the chocolate, read the first letter of every paragraph. The story will make much more sense that way.

So that was fun, hope you enjoyed it. If you want a challenge, try and do the same thing with a different phrase. It helps you to come up with new words. (I never realized how many times I wanted to start a paragraph with "Fang" or "Max".)

Reviews are loved...and are Toblerones! I'm totally going to have to eat one after writing this.


End file.
